DIS(gusting)CLAIMER

Okay then...there are a few things that need to be discussed here before we really begin. I am in the habit of always issuing a disclaimer in the very beginning just so I have my ass covered. Consider yourselves warned. While I adore and honor grammar, the verbal vomit that comes forth onto these keys does not submit to grammar...it just flows...er ebbs and flows. That being said there are a number of tricks, albeit annoying, that I will employ to get around proper grammar. Namely: the use of ellipses. It's not that I think that whatever I have to say is so important that it extends above the application of proper grammar...it's just that while I do have an undying respect for grammar...I just don't give a shit in this context. The years of writing research papers are behind me and I would prefer to leave them there. So if you're a grammar gremlin then get the fuck out of here. You are going to be annoyed and feel the need to let me know where an apostrophe belongs...as far as I'm concerned the apostrophe belongs up your ass if there's even any room in there with all the other light bulbs and other bright ideas you might have along the way.

Okay which brings me to one final disclaimer. Being that this is simply verbal vomit, I have very little to actually back up what I am saying. All of this is opinionated bullshit from someone who doesn't regularly read the newspaper, someone who doesn't have cable, and someone who's primary source of information is wikipedia and google news and those visits are sporadic at best. So if you want to go to the mat with me and wrestle out ideas and facts, then I will behave much as I did during our wresting units in middle school: I will dress out and wear the appropriate gym cloths. I will report to the mat as dictated by the teacher. I will assume the proper position on the mat. And when that whistle blows, I will not do a damned thing and you will easily flip me over and we'll have a completed match. I am simply NOT interested in arguing.

Fuck! So I thought of one more thing and this really just brings it all together (not altogether). As you can see by all of these excuses and disclaimers that I assume my audience is nothing but a bunch of judgmental, petty, bellicose fucktards. Well, please be aware that this is merely my insecurity and not an actual reflection on my audience. I simply assume that anyone reading my writing will immediately find flaws in grammar and logic and will be persuaded to lightly correct or polightly [sic] remind me of some rule or fact. This will of course send me over the edge and cause me never to have another opinion again. In short, you're dealing with an idiot. If you can handle that...then read on my friend. READ ON!